Select Page
From The Fatima Mansions’ 1991 Bertie’s Brochures mini-album. Written by Cathal Coughlan. Capo on 1st fret.



August the 20th: Yes, folks, it’s another clammy, warm night in England. A large crowd has gathered around the police station. Everybody – EVERYBODY – wishes to have contact with a certain little Irish writer within. Not to discuss his works, though the works are known to them; they’ve been published in the tabloid papers by the police under the heading “Barbaric Butcher’s Brochures.” No, they want to tear his very head from his body, for what it is alleged he did in the way of mortal damage to two soldiers in a nearby public lavatory. The night draws in. Nobody would say a word about him, except a fool like me [(and his skin)].


In F#mrainy Ireland in the A♭750s
There outside a C#mpink farmhouse A♭mdoor
A F#msmall Bertie, playing at digging A♭7trenches,
Asks, “Daddy, what’s the C#mblowtorch for?”

He said, “The torch will cut the Ecars to turn them into Bsculpture
So I can F#mexpress what I C#mfeel. The C#m7college men may Elaugh
The farmers perseBcute me, but I F#do for myDself. So should E7you.”


ACome look at Dmaj7Bertie’s broEchures+E7
AYou’ll be enDmaj7chanted, I am Esure+E7
The Awhole world’s in Dmaj7Bertie’s broEchures:+E7
All the Dmaj7wisdom, all the B7smiles of dear Efriends+E6++E7


Through F#mfreakshow Britain, through the A♭7eighties
Bertie works in C#mlabs, though his father’s aims still enA♭mdure
Though F#monly at night does he do his A♭7real work
Learning, writing C#mhis brochures

C#m7For he still beElieves that everyone’s a Bpoet
And that all he has to F#mdo is to set it C#mdown
And so transform the Emilkman
The waitress and the Bgunman into F#immortal+ Dart


Now they’re Alaughing at Dmaj7Bertie’s broEchures+E7
DeAtectives with Dmaj7crowbars and Eskewers+E7
They Asee things in Dmaj7Bertie’s broEchures:+E7
Their own Dmaj7hatred of all other B7races and their Efear+E6++E7


ADon’t laugh at Dmaj7Bertie’s broEchures+E7
AHe would not Dmaj7if they were Eyours+E7
So Awhat if your Dmaj7enemy is Ethere?+E7
ABertie’s an Dmaj7artist, so Ewhy+ E6should +E7he +Acar+Dmaj7++Ae?+Dmaj7
Dmaj7Should he Acar+Dmaj7++Ae?+Dmaj7
It’s the Anorth EuroDmaj7pean +Apeasant exDmaj7perience