Rat Poison Rendezvous by Cathal Coughlan
From Cathal Coughlan’s 2006 Foburg album. Written by Cathal Coughlan. No capo.
INTRO
[Bb/D] [Bbm6] [Gm] [Bb6]
VERSE 1
Well it’s a [Bb/D] glitte [Bbm6] ring oc [Gm] casion [Bb6]
The [Bb/D] guards are [Bbm6] fancy- [Gm] free [Bb6]
They [Bb/D] toast the [Bbm6] bride and the [Gm] wedding [Bb6] night
Of [Bb/D] Cousin [Bbm6] Gregor [Gm] y [C#6]
VERSE 2
The [Bb/D] inmates [Bbm6] are in [Gm] vited [Bb6]
To an [Bb/D] after- [Bbm6] party soiree [Gm] [Bb6]
Enter [Bb/D] tainment’s re [Bbm6] quired and so [Gm] shots are [Bb6] fired
And the [Bb/D] porn and the [Bbm6] music do [Gm] play [C#6]
[D] What is that [Bb] substance you’re [Gm] snorting?
[D] Was it guaran [Bb] teed by a [Gm] lab? [Caug]
Or do you [D] take it on [Bb6] trust? I sup [Gm] pose that you must
When your [F7] lifestyle is [Cm7] bling-bling and [Ebm6] fab
CHORUS 1
Rat poison [Abm] rendezvous
Your spleen, your [Bm7] nostrils and you
Must each say bye- [G7] bye
They’re [Bm] all going to [F#m6] die [Cmaj7] [Am7b5]
Rat [Bm7] poison [Abm] rendezvous
I feel like [D6] one of the crew
The one who can’t [G7] leave
Cause of the bride and her [F#m7] steed [Cmaj7] [Bb6]
VERSE 3
[Bb/D] Mrs. [Bbm6] Cousin [Gm] Grego [Bb6] ry
My [Bb/D] death-war [Bbm6] rant’s full [Gm] stop [Bb6]
May she [Bb/D] bear him many [Bbm6] children, mal [Gm] formed, still [Bb6] born
And [Bb/D] steal every [Bbm6] penny he’s [Gm] got [C#6]
VERSE 4
But I [Bb/D] know he [Bbm6] won’t be [Gm] lonely [Bb6]
Not with [Bb/D] bosom [Bbm6] buddies like [Gm] you [Bb6]
Always [Bb/D] stone-cold [Bbm6] sober and [Gm] so re [Bb6] fined
A [Bb/D] part from a [Bbm6] gangbang or [Gm] two [C#6]
VERSE 5
[D] Thank you for [Bb] keeping good [Gm] order
In our [D] holiday [Bb] camp in the [Gm] woods [Caug]
You de [D] serve to re [Bb] lax, hoover [Gm] up, knock it back
Like a [F7] legion of [Cm7] warriors [Ebm6] should
CHORUS 2
Rat poison [Abm] rendezvous
Lay down those [D6] guns, don’t be cruel
Your friends don’t look [G7] well
Look! They seize and they [F#m6] swell [Cmaj7] [Am7b5]
Rat [Bm7] poison [Abm] rendezvous
Don’t spoil the [D6] party, will you
From ears, mouths and [G7] eyes
A blue, black, crimson [F#m7] tide [Cmaj7] [Bb6]
[Bb/D] [Bbm6] [Gm] [Bb6]
[Bb/D] [Bbm6] [Eb7]
VERSE 6/OUTRO
[Bb/D] [Bbm6] [Gm] [Bb6]
[Bb/D] [Bbm6] [Cm]
This one’s dead, go get help, take the keys from his belt
That one’s stoned, cut his throat, take the keys, draw the bolt
Out the gate, pick a car, smash the glass, rip to start;
Smash the glass, rip to start
Smash the glass, rip to start
[Bb/D]
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
1 2 0 7 5 4 3 0 8 9 7 2 1 4 6 7 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11
[Bb/D]
Through the craters
On the muddy track
On the way to the bumpy road
To the world we used to know