Bertie’s Brochures by the Fatima Mansions

From the Fatima Mansions’ 1991 Bertie’s Brochures mini-album. Written by Cathal Coughlan. Capo on 3rd fret.

High Llamas - Snowbug


[G] [Cmaj7]

August the 20th: Yes, folks, it’s another clammy, warm night in England. A large crowd has gathered around the police station. Everybody – EVERYBODY – wishes to have contact with a certain little Irish writer within. Not to discuss his works, though the works are known to them; they’ve been published in the tabloid papers by the police under the heading “Barbaric Butcher’s Brochures.” No, they want to tear his very head from his body, for what it is alleged he did in the way of mortal damage to two soldiers in a nearby public lavatory. The night draws in. Nobody would say a word about him, except a fool like me [D] [(and his skin)].


In [Em] rainy Ireland in the [F#7] fifties
There outside a [Bm] pink farmhouse [F#m] door
A [Em] small Bertie, playing at digging [F#7] trenches,
Asks, “Daddy, what’s the [Bm] blowtorch for?”

He said, “The [B7] torch will cut the [D] cars to turn them into [A] sculpture
So I can [Em] express what I [Bm] feel
The [B7] college men may [D] laugh
The farmers perse [A] cute me
But I [E] do for my [C] self (So should [C-D] you)”


[G] Come look at [Cmaj7] Bertie’s bro [D] chures [D6] [D7]
[G] You’ll be en [Cmaj7] chanted, I am [D] sure [D6] [D7]
The [G] whole world’s in [Cmaj7] Bertie’s bro [D] chures [D6] [D7]
All the [Cmaj7] wisdom, all the [A7] smiles of dear [D] friends [D6] [D7]


Through [Em] freakshow Britain, through the [F#7] eighties
Bertie works in [Bm] labs, though his father’s aims still en [F#m] dure
Though [Em] only at night does he do his [F#7] real work
Learning, writing [Bm] his brochures

[B7] For he still be [D] lieves that everyone’s a [A] poet
And that all he has to [Em] do is to set it [Bm] down
And [B7] so transform the [D] milkman
The waitress and the [A] gunman into [E] immortal [C] art [C-D]


Now they’re [G] laughing at [Cmaj7] Bertie’s bro [D] chures [D6] [D7]
De [G] tectives with [Cmaj7] crowbars and [D] skewers [D6] [D7]
They [G] see things in [Cmaj7] Bertie’s bro [D] chures [D6] [D7]
Their own [Cmaj7] hatred of all other [A7] races and their [D] fear [D6] [D7]


[G] Don’t laugh at [Cmaj7] Bertie’s bro [D] chure [D6] [D7]
[G] He would not [Cmaj7] if they were [D] yours [D6] [D7]
So [G] what if your [Cmaj7] enemy is [D] there? [D6] [D7]
[G] Bertie’s an [Cmaj7] artist, so [D] why [D6] should [D7] he [G] car [Cmaj7] [G] e? [Cmaj7]
[Cmaj7] Should he [G] car [Cmaj7] [G] e? [Cmaj7]
It’s the [G] north Euro [Cmaj7] pean [G] peasant ex [Cmaj7] perience

[G] [Cmaj7] [G] [Cmaj7] [G]